[Carnival]
[People Laughing, Chattering]
[Roller Coaster Going By, People Screaming]
Come on, step on up.
Two bucks a ball, three for five. You might get lucky.
See something you haven't seen before. Watch our Marilyn twirl.
[Man] Come on, reach in.
[Barker] Give 'em a thrill, boys. Give 'em a thrill.
When the weather's hot like this, I keep my panties in the refrigerator.
[Men Howling]
- [Bell Ringing] - [Barker] We have a winner.!
[Men Whistling, Howling]
[Barker] Come on, fella. How 'bout you? Two bucks a ball.
That worth two bucks a ball? Look at that skin up there.
Pretty fine, folks. You oughta get in here, get some of this.
I am gonna be someone. And this is step number one.
Yeah? Step one to what?
I'm gonna go where all the lights stay on.
Where all those little flashbulbs go off like they do for Madonna and Cher.
My mama sat alone in the dark.
Not me. Uh-uh.
You know... Marilyn wasn't always Marilyn.
She had to do stuff to get to be Marilyn.
And it wasn't always stuff she liked.
She did it anyhow.
[Exhales]
Eye on the ball.
Keep your eye on the ball.
[Knocking]
Sorry, Mr. Greeson. Is my check ready?
What's the matter? You been cryin'?
Ah, forget it.
You think just because I'm the boss, I got no ears.
Come on. Sit down here. Talk to me.
It's just... [Sighs]
I don't want anyone to hear.
Well, we can go in my office.
Come on. [Jangles Keys]
[Locks Safe Door]
Come on.
[Sighs]
[Exhales]
So, what is it, Havana? You can tell me.
It's... Peter.
He said he really loved me...
and he started screwing the cotton candy girl.
- [Crying] - Oh, there, there, there.
There, there, there, now.
- [Crying Continues] - Havana, honey.
- You'll be fine. Now just have a good cry, yes. - [Crying Continues]
Oh, that's right.
- That's right. Yeah. - He broke my heart.
[Havana Mock Crying]
[Mr. Greeson] You'll be fine. Don't worry about a thing.
[Mock Crying Continues]
Honey, that farm hand is beneath a beautiful woman like you.
What you need is a man mature enough to appreciate...
- what a lady like you has to offer. - I do?
Sure.
Hey, get your hands off of my woman.!
Come on. Let's go. Let's go. It's right here. I got it all.
[Radio Broadcast] A Metro girl got a new lease on life...
thanks to surgery at the hospital for sick children.
Tracy Hooper was given the liver of an nine-year-old accident victim in a four hour operation.
Hooper is in critical but stable condition, ; normal after such an operation.
The forecast: ; mostly sunny skies today with brisk winds.
Expected high near 52 degrees. Clear tonight with a low...
Wake up, wake up!
- We gotta pack. Pack! - What?
Come on. We gotta go, now. Move it.
Jesus Christ! We're screwed!
"PeterJakobson is being sought for state fair robbery"! Some brilliant...
- I didn't see any goddamned camera. Move! Let's pack. - Where are we going?
[People Singing In Hutterite German]
[Man] "Now, therefore...
"if you will obey My voice and needs, and keep My covenant...
"then you shall be a peculiar treasure unto Me...
"above all people.
For all the earth is mine."
[Rock 'N'Roll]
I never know where I'm going to
Kinda takin'it day by day
Day by day
I'm not hanging out at some wacko commune...
like a '60s leftover waiting to get brainwashed.
No phones, no TV, no newspapers; nobody will find us.
And it's not a commune. It's, it's a colony.
A religious colony. One of 300.
Well, rethink it, Peter. The answer is no.
I don't wear tie-dye. I don't do chants.
- I don't do the singing nuns. - Okay, you got a better idea where we could hide out?
Yeah. Pull over, give me my half of the money.
I'll go to Hollywood where nobody knows me for sure. Pull over!
No. I don't feel safe with you out there loose. I don't trust you!
Don't want you around
Thinks you should be free
Thinks you drive me insane
I'm on my way
Never know where I'm going
Just kinda takin'it day by day
Day by day
Day by day...
[Radio Stops]
- This place looks like a goddamned penal colony. - Hey, stop swearin'.
It's not allowed here.
Okay, now you wait here.
Wait! Hey!
- I'm thirsty! - You'll wait.
[Teacher Talking In Hutterite German]
- [Peter] Ezekiel Jakobson.! - Yes?
Is anybody looking for an older brother in there?
Peter! I told you he'd come back.
- Peter! - [Laughing]
- You're back! - Yes, of course I'm back.
- I prayed that you'd return and you're finally back. - Yes, of course.
- And they won't pick on me anymore. - Who? Who won't?
- The kids are still. But they won't anymore. - Those kids picking on you?
- Yeah, but they won't anymore, because you're here. - That's right.
- You're with me. - Yeah, it's just me and you. Huh? Me and you.
- That's right. You and me. - Mother! Mother!
He's back! Peter's back!
- Not a kiss from my own mother? - Peter. It is really you?
Oh, Peter.
Not one word for almost three years, now you stand before me as if you never left.
Mother, my body has returned but my heart never left.
[Sighs] Oh, welcome home, my child.
You must go talk with elders.
[Man] What have you learned in the outside world, Peter?
Of myself, Uncle.
What is that?
I've witnessed firsthand the torrents of the soul.
I have felt the devil's tongue.
This is my home... Uncle.
I belong here.
I read from Proverbs: 22, 6.
"Train up a child in the way he should go. And when he is old...
he will not depart from it."
Welcome home, Peter. Welcome.
Thank you. Thank you. It's good to be back.
Peter.
Did you leave something in the car like me for instance?
Hmm? Hi.
Uh... excuse me.
Uh, yes, um... [Clears Throat]
Excuse me. Excuse me.
Ow!
Are you nuts?
I'm trying to help us here and you're a hair away from blowing the deal.
- Put some clothes on. - I have clothes on. You wanna see me get naked?
Do you? What I need is a drink.
You want a drink? Okay, look. See there. That's a faucet.
Knock yourself out.
** [Radio]
[Continues]
Peter... who is that woman?
She's my, uh...
Uh, she's, uh... my wife.
What? Your wife?
Uh, um... She's to be my wife.
You know, we do not like to judge...
as our Lord, Jesus Christ judged no one.
But that woman...
- hmph... - [Continues]
Does not appear to be of our sort.
Ja, ja, I agree.
And that is why she's been sent to me...
to be a test of my, of my patience...
and my generosity.
[Exhales] She wants to learn our way.
And God has asked me... to show her.
- Boo! - [Dog Barking]
[Sighs] No.
This is not happening!
That is Zeke's way. When he gets nervous, he passes out.
Nothing to be concerned about. Just give him a nudge.
- Wake up! - [Dog Barking]
Well, my name's Havana. And you're?
Oh, I get it, you have no name.
Okay. All right. Well... actually I'm fine.
- Thank you for asking. - I presume you're Havana.
Then you presume right on.
I'm Uncle Wilhelm. I'm the head of the Colony.
- Welcome to our family, Havana. - Thanks. It's...
Uncle Wilhelm, I see you met Havana.
- Yes, we met, and it was a beautiful moment had by all. - Good.
[Chuckles] Colony life will be difficult at first...
but it will be easier if you live it for God's sake.
There is a lot for her to learn, Uncle Wilhelm. It'll take a little time.
We are pleased that you have decided to marry Peter...
- andjoin our simple way oflife. - He is?
- She makes a fine breeder for us. - Oh.
[Chuckles] Thank you.
- Sorry, I... I have to work now. - Okay.
You can breed this!
Havana, the rules of the Colony are very strict. I had to think of something.
Some way that the elders would let you stay 'til I think of a plan...
Plan? Is that what you call getting married; figuring out a plan? What am I, a yo-yo?
- Shh. - I'm getting whiplash. I have a plan.
And my plan is to go to Hollywood, lose you forever. That is what I call a plan.
- Don't go screwing with my plan. - We'd only be married a few weeks.
[Havana] I'm not staying.! No, I'm not staying.
[Sighs]
[Man] Yes, there's a problem. Aproblem with your performance in New Orleans.
You're goin' out to pick up a robbery suspect.
Would you do me the courtesy of checking the manual?
Look under "appropriate use of Bureau personnel" before you send a 30-year veteran...
- to do the job of a green-ass kid. - Markowski, listen to me.
Your credibility is suspect; you are not in New Orleans; you are not undercover;
you are in Iowa and you are working for me.
And the manual says that I...
get to tell you what to do.
Robbin'a state fair?
Man, I used to be proud to be an American.
You're going to Canada to bring back PeterJakobson, his accomplice...
and the money.
This is the job. You wanna do it, fine.
You don't; Pension and Welfare down the hall.
[Crickets Chirping]
[Giggles]
Damn it!
Havana, come. It is our custom to sew the dress for the wedding.
- We will take the measurements. - All right, look.
If I'm gonna wear a little homemade number, then at least I am designing it, okay?
This is what I want. I want a sweetheart collar coming from a tight bodice.
- Two slits up the front. - Oh, ja, ja.
- A long, long train coming from a shiny satin bustle. - Ja, ja.
- Can you guys do tassels? - [All] Oh, ja.
- How 'bout ruffles? - Ja, ja. Oh, ja.
- Yeah? - Ja.
- What about pleats? - Oh, ja.
Okay. [Giggles]
[People Singing In Hutterite German]
[Continues]
Begehrst du diese Schwester gern anzunehmen...
[Wilhelm] Als eine Gabe van den Hemm?
Do you accept this sister as a gift from the Lord?
I do.
[Wilhelm] Begehrst du ihn inallen goettinchen Dingen gehorsan zu sein...
Damit Eines den andern eine Ursach zum Gutten und zur Gottseligkeit sine moechte?
Will you be obedient to your husband in all spiritual matters...
and will you encourage each other to lead godly lives?
Yes.
It's done. So, you may kiss the bride.
[Clears Throat]
[Bells Chiming]
[People Chattering]
[Men Chattering]
[Woman] Eat well.
[Woman] Eat well, father.
Psst.
[Woman] Eat well.
Eat well, Father.
- Eat well and choke. - [Woman] Oh.!
[Chuckles] She's... funny.
[Clears Throat]
[Spits]
[Car Horn Honks]
[Brakes Squeaking]
This car's goin' to town. Anybody going better jump in.
Peter, when you were gone, what did you do?
- Stuff. - What kind of stuff?
I saw things. I saw the world.
Different things.
Different people.
And out of all the women you saw, you decided on Havana?
[Chuckles] Yeah.
Yeah, I decided on Havana.
You know, the Bible says that goodness, kindness...
purity and fullness of heart are the qualities for a mate.
- Uh-huh. - Does Havana have these qualities?
Or will we see them?
Maybe we better keep an eye on her.
You got half an hour. What do you want to do?
- Can I get ice cream? - Yeah. Look. Here's money.
But don't go give it away. It's the real thing in the real world.
- It's right down there. - Thank you.
- [Children Shouting] - [Bells On Bicycles Ringing]
- Let's go! - All right, go!
[Shouting, Whooping]
[Woman On TV] A record wheat harvest this year.
But only when the wheat's in the bin and the money's in the bank...
can farmers breathe a sigh of relief.
Here's a local twist on that state fair robbery. Police are certain that PeterJakobson...
who was identified in this video taken with a hidden camera, has made his way into Canada...
and with his accomplice will be attempting to disappear...
into one of the local Hutterite colonies.
Turning now to medical news, scientists are encouraged with the way...
[Car Engine Roaring]
Are cars supposed to go this fast?
Listen, I'm going to have to go away.
You just came back. You said you were back for good.
- Things change. - But you promised we'd be together.
You and me, remember?
- Hey! I hate you! - Come on. No, stop it!
Look out! Slow down!
[People Singing In Hutterite German]
** [Singing]
[Thunder Rumbling]
[Glass Shattering]
[Banging]
Where is it? [Grunts]
- [Grunts] - [Wilhelm Gasps] Havana.
Havana, we do not want to disturb your mourning time...
- but may we come in? - [Sighs] Yeah, but...
Sorry about... Sorry about the mess.
Oh, we understand. We understand.
I don't. She's messier than the turkeys.
Everybody mourns their own style.
Havana, Ezekiel has a duty that needs to be attended to.
You know, the Bible represents our law.
We are very strict about observing all aspects and all dictates.
Our society...
is based upon following tradition to the letter.
Please read Deuteronomy: 25, 5. Right there.
"Thou shalt not muzzle the ox."
No, no, no, next verse.
"If brethren dwell together, and one of them die and have no child...
"the wife of the dead shall not marry unto a stranger.
Her husband's brother shall go in unto her and take her to him to wife."
- Wait. What? - What did she say?
Yeah, what did I say? "The wife of the dead shall not marry...
"unto a stranger.
Her husband's brother shall go in unto her and take her to him to wife"?
What is this book? Is this a comedy or something?
Uncle Wilhelm, I think maybe I should read 'cause she must be getting this wrong.
No, no, no, no, she's not incorrect, nor the word of our Lord.
Havana, Ezekiel has an obligation by our law...
to ask you... to marry him.
- [Chuckles] - But there's no cause for alarm.
You will simply refuse him and that will be that.
- What will be what? - Well... you have to leave.
- What do you mean I have to leave? - Here. $100.
- We'll drive you to the bus stop. It'll take you to the city. - You can't just kick me out.
Nobody wants to kick you out, but we have no choice.
As an outsider, you are not allowed to remain here.
I know this seems harsh, but it is the best.
The Hutterite way of life, Havana, is not for you.
So I have to leave now with this $100?
I'm sorry.
EzekielJakobson, it falls to you to perform the duty of the brother-in-law. Ask her.
Let us get this done with.
But, Uncle Wilhelm, I'm only 12 years old. I still hate girls.
- L-I'd much prefer a frog... - Don't disgrace yourself in the eyes of God!
- Ask her, please. - But I'd make a bad husband.
- Don't make me do this. - You must, child!
It's the Lord's rules. You must please Him.
Um... [Sighs]
Uh... will you... Will you, um...
- Do you wanna... - Go ahead, Ezekiel.
- Go ahead. - Do you wanna... [Panting]
Do you... wanna marry... [Panting]
You-You know what I mean. I can't... I can't breathe. I can't breathe!
[Chuckles] You guys have been out in the sun for too long.
You marry... [Gasping]
Do you wanna marry me or not, you dumb pig?
[Chuckles] Guys, I admit...
this is one goofy twist on the whole boy-girl thing...
but let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater, okay?
[Chuckles] If you would have told me out on the street that the Bible...
is the happening book that I now think it is, you could've knocked me over with a feather.
[Giggles] But, guys, I have seen the light.
I have been saved. So, if the only way I could stick around here...
and soak up more of this religion stuff is to get hitched to the little midget...
then count me in, honey.
My answer is yes.
- [Crashes] - [Havana Chuckles] I'll marry the little brat...
but that little fainting trick has got to go.
- How can we allow this? - It's not our place to challenge the Lord!
We do not believe that our brother colonies would be so literal to the written word.
- We will be ridiculed! - This is correct!
- None of them will believe us! - No one will.
- There must be something. - The Bible doesn't say anything about children!
- We must not do this! - [Everyone Talking At Once]
My people! My people!
If we begin to question the wisdom of the Bible now...
where do we start and when do we stop?
Stop it!
[Crowd Muttering]
[Wilhelm] Begehrst di diese Schwester gern anzunehmen as eine Gabe van dem Hemm?
- Do you accept this sister as a gift from the Lord? - I do.
[Crowd Muttering]
Begehrst du ihn in allen goetilchen Dingen gehorsan zu sein, Damit Eines den andern...
eine Ursach zum Gutten und zur Gottseligkeit sine moechte?
Will you be obedient to your husband in all spiritual matters...
and will you encourage each other to live godly lives?
Ja, I do.
[Giggling]
It's done. You may kiss the bride.
I'd rather kiss a goat.
Ezekiel, you may kiss the bride... now!
- Do it for me! - Ezekiel.!
Ezek... Eze...
[Children Giggling]
- Do you know what to do, big guy? - [Laughing]
- Don't get her too excited. - [Laughing]
- If you need any help, let me know. - Do a good job, lover boy.
Lover boy.
- [Laughing] - Lover boy.
Shh, shh, shh.
[Sighs]
[Boy's Voices] Nighty-night, lover boy.
- Oh, yeah. - [Chuckling]
[Ezekiel] Take off your garments, o'woman of mine.!
Shh.
Let me show you what a real man is.!
[Mattress Moving, Ezekiel Moaning]
Havana, stop it, you're breaking the bed.!
[Moaning Continues]
Oh, Havana, stop it, stop it.
[Moaning Continues]
Stop!
Shh.
- Shh. - [Moaning Continues]
- Honey, I'm home. - [Boy] I'm home, lover boy.
[Boys Laughing]
[Sighs]
Leave me alone!
6:00 in the goddamn morning.
Stop swearing! We have to go to church. We awaken with the Lord.
- Well, I sleep later than He does. - [Knocking Continues]
Get away from my door!
We have to go. You're going to get me in trouble.
- Let's go. I'm ready. - [Screaming]
Oh!
Well, don't do that again then!
[Door Closes]
[People Singing In Hutterite German]
[Wilhelm] Love one another as God loves you.
- May peace be with you. - [All] Amen.
[People Chattering]
[Boy] I can't right now. I have to finish homework.
Ezekiel. Ezekiel.
Perhaps your wife is not present this morning because she doesn't enjoy my sermons.
Oh, no, Uncle Wilhelm, I tried to make her attend...
- but she is more stubborn than our animals. - Uh-huh.
You know when a man is married, a woman becomes his responsibility.
You must teach her our ways. You have taken the vows of holy matrimony.
You are her husband.
You are her comforter, her example, her faith, her friend, her protector...
her ally.
Her joy is your joy.
And her failings are your failings.
Yes, but... she's bigger than me.
Oh. Yeah, but... God will provide.
And like all of us, she has duties.
You will see that she attends to your lawn; it needs cutting.
The flower bed needs weeding.
Etcetera, etcetera.
Yes... Uncle Wilhelm.
[Banging]
[People Chattering]
[Banging Continues]
- Havana! - What?
Uncle Wilhelm says you have to mow the lawn and weed the flower bed.
Tell him I need a manicure and a pedicure!
You have duties to attend to! You're my wife!
And cover your head. Your hair's not supposed to be showing.
- What are you looking for? - Nothing.
Then what were you doing in there?
Looking for a rope to hang myself with. Now leave me alone.
Will you at least weed the flower bed, please?
I like weeds.
Look, I'm sorry about these mood swings.
I'm working on it, okay?
It's just that I would feel a lot better if I had a cigarette.
We don't have any.
I know, but... Peter hid mine somewhere. Do you have any idea where he could have hid them?
Don't you guys have a secret hiding place or something?
[Sighs]
You should be doing this. This is your work.
Getting an even tan is hard work too, so don't knock it.
I don't think our marriage is working.
Well, then we got something in common with every married couple in America.
How do you stand the heat in those clothes?
We sweat.
I, uh... I found this in the flower bed.
Looks American.
I guess Peter must've dropped it.
Hey, this isn't fair, you doing all my chores.
Why don't you come inside and take a rest and I'll take over.
- Are you sure? - Positive.
Okay.
[Grunts]
[Screams]
Yes!
[Panting] I see it.
[Grunting]
[Gasps]
[Panting]
[Gasps, Groans]
Don't screw with me, kid! Peter was giving the rest of that money to me!
Where's the rest of it? I want my money and I want it now!
I'm your husband. Uncle Wilhelm said you are to do as I tell you!
Who's gonna make me? You? You're gonna make me, all 60 pounds of you?
If you don't start behaving like a proper wife, I'm feeding all that money to the hogs!
Over my... dead body!
You're only making it sound better.
Come here! Come back here!
If you do as you're told, maybe I will give you the money.
[Panting]
Fine. What do you want me to do?
[Grunts]
[Gasps]
[Havana] How come I never see guys do this work?
My husband says he can't find a hoe that fits a man's hand.
Just like a man. We do all the work, while he plays with his hose.
[Women Laughing]
There.
I'm sorry I yelled at you. I'm trying really hard to be a good wife and it's difficult.
But I know that you're going to help me and Uncle Wilhelm will be very proud of you.
Okay?
[Laughing]
[Women Chattering]
[Woman] Eat well, father.
Eat well, husband.
- [Woman] Eat well, son. - Eat well, brother.
** [Singing In Hutterite German]
* I was going to leave all of these lunatics *
* And go off and have a rich and happy life *
[Women Continue Singing]
* Cannot stand it All this housework *
* I feel likeJulie Andrews **
[Tractor Engine]
Ezekiel! Ezekiel!
[Havana] You eat good, Zeke.
You know, I'm having the best day.
It's like I've never felt such peace before.
[Sighs] I wanna thank you for marrying me, Zeke. Thank you.
Oh, that-that's okay.
- Well, I have to get back to work. - Ja. Me too.
Oh.
I'm not gonna be needing that.
You take such good care of me.
What do I need money for when I have you, so...
just put it back with the rest of the money, okay.
Hey, come here, you little runt! Come here!
- If I catch you, you're dead meat.! - Shoo, shoo, shoo!
[Squawking]
[Screams]
[Chickens Squawking]
[Havana] Hey.! Where are you?
- [Squawking] - [Screams]
[Screaming]
You want this?
[Screaming]
You've been tryin' to trick me, just pretending to be a good wife.
But let me tell you something. You're never going to get this...
- Yes! - Money!
You little, fainting, geeky creep!
I am this close to putting you over my knee and giving you a spanking!
I hate being married to you. I hate it! Any man would.
Then do something about it. Gimme the money and I'm outta here.
One quick divorce and I'm Havana What-Was-Her-Name.
- That sounds good but what's a divorce? - It is a ticket out of hell.
- No, we can't have divorce. - No, you sit!
Listen, you let me take the heat on this one from Uncle Wilhelm, okay?
If I tell him I am a lousy wife with lousy wifely skills...
and an overbearing sexual appetite, he will cut us both a little slack.
Then you give me my money, and I am gone. Deal?
Is it?
[Spits]
No, you got to spit first.
Okay?
[Bleating]
Set it in.
[Whispers] Inside. Come on. Inside.
Come on.
Come inside. Come inside.
Load it up.
Zeke, if I can be a little bit critical here...
Ooh. Um, I think you should lighten up a little bit.
Have some fun.
Stop being so serious all the time.
Be happy.
Quit letting all those little kids get the best of you all the time, you know.
Zeke?
Zeke!
[Mock Crying] No, this can't be.
I can't believe that a man I actually loved and married could be a thief.
[Mock Crying Continues] I thought I could trust Peter.
I thought he believed in the things I believed in.
He spoke all the time of honesty and virtues and God.
What does God think? [Sobbing]
I thought who could think anymore?
I feel so... tawdry...
so... soiled.
Disgraced by the shame of greed and lust.
The money should be burned.
Burned?
- It certainly should be. - We must all agree.
Excuse me.
I agree the money is tainted, but tainted or not, it is not ours to burn.
Yeah. Yes.
Leviticus says that we must restore...
that which was deceitfully gotten.
Of all of'em...
[Chuckles] I love Leviticus the most.
[Men Whispering]
[Sighs]
Since Peter was my brother and he carried both my name and my blood...
I think that I should be the one to return the money.
But, Ezekiel, you are not your brother's keeper.
Yes, but I am the keeper of the shame that Peter brings to my family...
and to the entire Colony with his sinful thievery.
But, Ezekiel, a job like this is... is for a man.
How can I be a husband without first being a man?
Yes.
This I cannot argue.
And as your wife, I'll help you in every way I can.
I'll make sure you get there. [Sniffles]
God be with you, Ezekiel.
Inside are your birth certificate, farmer's driving permit...
marriage license for the border crossing...
and $300.
- That's a lot of money, Uncle Wilhelm. - We'll bring back any extra.
Here.
Listen to God.
- And return with God. - I will, Mother.
Okay, now, when they ask you why we're going to the States...
- what are you gonna say? - We're going to return stolen money.
- That's an excellent answer. - Thank you. I thought so too.
- It's excellent if you want to go to jail. - What?
You say that, they're gonna figure you were in on the robbery.
The first thing that they're gonna do is burn your little hat.
And the second thing they're gonna do is take your Bible away.
And the third thing is the worst thing.
- What? - Rats.
Rats in your face.
Rats all night long, back and forth.
They seem to like faces more than anything. They're bred that way.
They're called... face rats.
- Face rats? - Mm-hmm.
So we're gonna have to lie a little teeny bit.
Oh, I don't like to lie.
You like your face to be eaten by rats?
[Sighs] Okay. What do I have to say?
Repeat after me. We are going to visit family in Montana for the day.
We are going... to visit family...
in Montana for the day.
- Welcome to U.S. Of A. - Thank you. [Laughs]
- Anything to declare? - Uh, we are visiting family in Montana.
We're visiting family in Montana.
All right. I ain't deaf. I heard you the first time. Anything to declare?
[Clears Throat]
Family... in Montana... for the day.
Do you have anything to declare?
Anything you wanna tell me about?
- All right, all right. My brother robbed the fair. - Shh.
- [Panting] Rats! Rats on my face all night long! - Please.
I don't wanna go to jail! I hate face rats!
[Horn Honking]
[Horn Stops]
It is our honeymoon. He's just nervous.
Pickin' 'em kind of green, aren't ya?
They're still trainable that way.
This farm permit isn't legal in the United States, so you'll have to drive.
- He can try again when he starts to shave. - [Laughs]
[Grunts]
[Whispers] Okay.
[Engine Starts, Stalls, Gears Grind]
[Engine Starts]
[Gears Grinding]
[Pops Into Gear]
[Gears Grind]
Welcome to the U.S. Of A.
- Why didn't you tell me you can't drive? - I can't drive stick!
What is so hard? Come on, it's simple!
- If it was so simple, I could do it! - Look, okay.
You step on the clutch and move the gears.
Then you let up on the clutch and you step on the gas.!
- I'm doing that. - No, you're not!
- [Engine Stalls] - Aw! Why you stall so much?
A little faster. Do it a little faster.
No, easily. Not so fast like that, okay? Okay...
- Okay, shift now. - I think you got it now.
This is where our son died.
[Markowski] Where's the girl?
She's gone with her new husband.
New husband? She didn't waste any time.
Ezekiel was Peter's brother. That's our way.
Ah. True love. It's a beautiful thing.
Where'd the lovebirds go?
They've gone into America to return the money.
The money?
- It didn't burn? - No, it's safe.
Have the Mounties been here?
No.
Should I contact them?
Definitely not, padre. Hell, I'm the man you're looking for.
The final man.
The final man is good... very, very good.
Why can't we just sleep in the truck?
I'm through sleeping in things with wheels.
[People Chattering]
I've never seen anything like this before.
There are people swimming in the fishing pond.
It's a pool. And if you like it so much, you can sleep in it, okay.
But go get me my room first.
Can't we share? It'd be cheaper if we shared.
Fine, we'll share. Make sure it has soft beds.
Good-bye. See you later. Good-bye.
[Woman Over P.A.] Mr. Stevens to the office, please.
Mr. Stevens, please come to the office.
- Hello. - What do you want?
We'd like to share your room.
- Say that again. - My wife and I, we'd like to share your room, please.
- Our what? - She said as long as there was a soft bed it'd be all right.
- Oh, my Lord! - This seems fine, I guess.
Get out of here, you little weirdo!
- Out! Out! - But...
- [Door Closes] - [Whistling]
[Whistling Continues] Hey, yoo-hoo.
Here's the key.
There's our room. Good-bye.
Where are you going?
Well, I'm going to meet an old friend of mine.
Jack... Daniels.! Whoo-hoo!
[Laughing] Leave the door unlocked.
I do love her outfit.
- If you want to do it, go and do it! - Okay.
- You're going to do it anyway, right? - Yeah.
So go, go on! Go on and do it.
You don't have to yell, Harry.
Women. Hmph.
Let me give you some advice, never get married.
I know exactly what you mean.
Beforehand, they treat you like a king.
After you make that big mistake, they treat you like a dog.
All the time, they're just interested in one thing.
You know what that one thing is, don't you?
- The money. - Damn straight!
My new husband... we just don't fit.
I mean, every time I find a man, it's the wrong one...
and this latest one, well, he just comes up pretty short.
About four feet tall.
Am I too short too?
No! Uh-uh!
- You look about right. Mm-hmm. - Really?
My name's Link.
- And it would be, wouldn't it? - [Chuckling]
Well, my name... is Marilyn.
Marilyn.
Can I buy you a drink... Marilyn?
Havana, we took vows!
Zeke, go back to the room. We'll discuss this later.
- Who's the half-pint? - I'm this woman's husband!
Whoa. What's going on here?
"Walk in the spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh."
Zeke.
You may be my husband...
but I am still your elder, so go back to our room.
Maybe you didn't marry me, Havana, but I married you!
Remember that!
- So you're baby-sittin' or somethin', is that it? - Or something.
- I gotta go. - What?
Come on now, hold on, gorgeous. We're not done yet.
- Yes, I am. - Wait. Now, come...
[Ezekiel] Next to murder, you have committed the worst sin there is.!
And I'm married to it.
What does he have that I don't?
Nothing... but 20 hard years.
Strong arms. Kisses great.
It was the usual bar pickup stuff.
But what about the real husband stuff? What about that?
What is that?
Can you trust him?
Does he pray?
Is he kind to plants and animals?
Is his word golden?
Isn't this what a real husband's supposed to be?
I think I'm gonna be sick.
[Toilet Flushes]
Wait.
Come here.
Please.
Have you ever done...
anything really rotten?
Anything that you're really ashamed of?
Sure. A lot.
Like what? [Chuckles]
Well, when I first met you...
I wanted you to die.
Oh, that's not so bad.
I've wanted to die myself... more times than not.
But I don't want you... to die now.
Really?
Really! Really, really.
Why are you crying?
It's just...
a husband like you doesn't come along every day.
Is that good or bad?
Oh, Zeke...
any woman's gonna be lucky to nab you.
Well...
I'm not that good.
What about...
What about the mating part?
Oh, well...
that's not all that it's cracked up to be.
So... we don't have to do that part?
No.
You just wait...
until you're with somebody you can love with all your heart.
[Car Horn Honking]
Do you see this line?
Do you see this badge?
Any Hutterites crossed here in the last 12 hours?
- Yeah. A kid and his wife. - Name of EzekielJakobson by any chance?
- Something like that. - Well, I'll be damned! She married a kid!
Yeah. It takes all kinds.
Okay, here you go.
Wir batten Dich, Herr Gott Himmlischer vater segne diese deine Gaben.
Die wir von Deiner reichen milden Hand.
Zu nus nehum und empfagen wereden Durch. Jesum Christem. Amen
- Amen. - [Woman] Amen.
[Whispering] I was thinking. We could split the money.
What would I do with money?
Just think about this. Okay?
We could go away somewhere for a week just like two pals hanging out.
Then, after that, I'd make sure you'd get home safe and sound.
- But what about returning the money? - Zeke!
The fair doesn't need that money. They make more money than that every day.
Nobody will ever know.
It'll be like our little secret.
- Deal? - We cannot do that.
- Zeke! - "Lead me not into temptation."
- Don't you want more? - More ice cream?
More everything!
I have everything.
Don't you want to do something that would make you important, famous?
Wouldn't you want the whole world to know who you are?
Well, God knows who I am.
And I know who God is.
And God knows the world.
So it's kinda like I know the world, right?
And that's enough for you?
Ja... with a lot left over.
Um...
Fine. I'm going to the bathroom.
Look! It's a helicopter.
Excuse me. Miss?
You know that little boy? Can you make sure he gets to the bus station?
Give him a piece of pie and in here are exact directions where he's going.
If he faints, give him a little nudge. He'll pop up like a turnover.
Don't screw it up.
Keep your eyes on the damn ball!
[Radio] I'm on my way
Never know where I'm goin' Just takin'it day by day
Day by day
[Radio Off]
[Speaking Hutterite German]
Hey, kid...
any chance you're EzekielJakobson?
I am.
[Chuckles] Well, how you doin'?
- Who are you? - I'm an old friend of Havana's. Where is she?
- She deserted me. - Oh.
That's a nasty habit. Why don't we go find her?
Have you ever been left by a wife?
[Chuckles] That's your first mistake, son.
You put a ring around a woman's finger...
she'll put a tighter one around your ba... Around your nose.
There she is!
Okay, kid, what do you wanna do?
"Now the wicked must eat the fruit of their own way."
All right, kid, let me show you America.
Oh, for chrissakes!
F.B.I.!
- [Markowski] Pull over. - Zeke, you shouldn't have told him.
You shouldn't be without me. You're my wife!
Watch it!
Don't hurt her!
Zeke, hold on!
All right, hand over the money or get to know the color of the kid's brains.
F.B.I., my ass!
Oh, I'm F.B.I. All right. I'm just not stupid F.B.I. Hand it over or I get ugly.
Take it!
All right, kid... get out.
Your tour is over.
Zeke, get back over here!
No! You make me sick.
- Get in the truck. - I am not going anywhere with you!
I'm not going to sit around here and argue with you about this.
Just go away!
- Come here. - What are you... Hey!
- You put me down! - Do what I tell you.
You're trying to get us killed. Get in.
- I'm your husband! You have to... - Get in the truck!
- Get in. Get down! Get down. - What? What are you doing?
Now!
Go get the money.
Come on!
Where are you taking me?
To the state fair. To get you and this money out of my life once and for all.
Been nothing but a nightmare. First we ditch this truck.
- Why? - Because the F.B.I. Is on us. We don't have time to drive.
- We're gonna have to fly. - Doesn't it cost a lot of money?
Who cares? We've got it.
That is not our money! We will take a bus.
You are so cheap!
I do not do buses.
I do not do planes!
[Train Whistle Blowing]
[Ezekiel] It's cold out here.
Better?
Do you think that my brother was a bad person?
No.
- I just think that he didn't know how to listen. - To what?
To that little voice inside that tells you what's okay and what's not.
Do you hear it?
Sometimes.
It's getting pretty hazy.
It better start coming clearer 'cause this deal is getting tiring.
- You want to go to sleep? - No, I don't mean tired like that.
I mean, tired like I'm sick of pretending all the time.
Here, put this on.
What do you pretend about?
Well, for one thing, my name isn't really Havana.
It's not? No?
It's Betsy... Betsy Iggits.
I thought Havana sounded better: More glam, more with it.
Kinda one of those one-name things...
like Madonna and Cher... Marilyn.
Who's Marilyn?
Marilyn Monroe?
- Only my hero. - Why?
Zeke, she was beautiful.
She had fabulous houses and boats and men...
and cars and furs and jewels and clothes.
- And everything a girl could want. - She had a nice family too?
Well, that part didn't work out so good.
But you said that she had everything.
And if she didn't have a nice family...
it sounds like she had nothing.
It does kinda sound like that, huh?
I have a nice family. Do you?
I don't know. I guess they're nice. I don't really think about them.
You don't think about your family all the time?
No! That's why I left home.
That's why I left Milwaukee, so I wouldn't have to think about them or Milwaukee.
Is that what that Marilyn girl told you to do?
'Cause if so, she's wrong and you should tell her...
that she should go back home and see her family before she doesn't have any left.
Okay, Zeke, I told you I'd get you to the state fair and I have.
- So, if they catch me they're gonna arrest me. - No, they won't.
You don't understand. I helped Peter with that robbery.
You did?
It's a crime. I'll go to jail.
Remember... face rats? Not my idea of a good time, either.
No! Not a face rat will touch you.
I promise, I won't let anybody take you to jail.
Zeke, this is where I get off.
Go down that street and at the very end there's a white building.
Go in there, ask for the manager's office.
Tell them you want to return the money.
Will you wait here?
No.
I think we should say good-bye now.
I'll pray for you.
Thanks. I think I'll need it.
Bye.
Wait a second, okay. I'm going to be right back.
I just wanna make sure he's okay.
[P.A. System] Ladies and gentlemen, just a reminder...
thoroughbred racing starts at 2:;00 p.m.
We've got some great horses running here today.
You're not going to want to miss it.
Post time is 2:;00 p.m.
Eye on the ball. Keep your eye on the ball.
Betsy, you've gotta get outta here. They're looking for ya.
Thanks, Rusty.
- Gotcha! Gimme the bag, kid! - [Screaming]
Hey! Hey!
Come on!
Stop him! Hey!
- Help me! Help me! - F.B.I.
- Call security! - Gimme the bag!
Get the hell outta here! Ow!
Run, Zeke!
Roger, I heard it. Someone calling for security in area seven.
- It may be Havana. If you see her, lock her up. - Copy that.
Kid, come on, slow down!
Come on, somebody help me.
- Who the heck are you? - F.B.I. F.B.I.
I don't care who you are. You better get out from under that bull.
[Markowski] Stop that kid.!
Yah! Yah!
- Get going! Get going! Yah! Yah! - Come on, slow down.
You son of a...
[Clown] Balloons! Here's a green one.
Thank you.
Balloons!
Move!
No. No, I won't faint.
I won't faint!
- You jerk! - What do you think you're doing?
Back off, fellas. F.B.I.
[Havana] Zeke? Zeke?
F.B.I. Okay?
- Stop him, stop him! - It's over, everybody. Relax.
- She's got an air conditioned cab. - [Tractor Motor Starts]
Hey, wait! Hey!
[Honking]
Get off of me, you bitch!
No, no. Put me down.
Put me down.! I'm F.B. I...!
[Cheering]
Put me down. Put me down!
[Zeke] You have to let her go!
She helped me! You can't take her to jail. She's my wife!
Your wife.
He's my husband. If you have a problem with me, then just deal with me.
Leave him out of it. He's a good man.
- A man. - He's the biggest man I know. So, he's not the tallest.
You're the F.B.I. What do I do?
It's up to you, sir. You want to press charges?
She was wrong to help my brother, but she's changed!
I couldn't have returned it without her.
We had to spend some of it on the way, but...
But whatever's missing, I'll work to pay it back. I'll do whatever you want.
Just don't take her to jail.
Well, I don't know. She sure did make some fool outta me.
Um, could you come here please, sir?
Chapter 26, verse 6.
"To forgive a woman with stain in her hands, but health in her heart...
"makes a higher man ofhe who forgiveth.
"And God shall such remember...
"when such a day of final reckoning comes forth.
For he shall be coveted as a man among men."
Sir, I think thatJob was speaking to you.
Look, son...
the state fair has offered a $25,000 reward for the return of this money.
That's for you!
No, I don't want any reward.
I just want my wife.
I don't know if you're crazy, orjust crazy for this woman.
But you got a deal!
[Men Laughing]
- Welcome home, Ezekiel. - Thanks.
Sorry about that.
I deserved it.
Thanks for saving me back there at the fair.
You saved me back with that quote from the Bible.
I'm gonna have to thankJob one day.
No. Thank me. I made it up.
But I don't thinkJob would be mad. It was for a good cause.
You actually think I could turn out to be a good cause, hmm?
You already are!
Friends forever?
Forever and a day.
Okay.
Ah, where are you going to go to now?
Home to see my family.
Havana, will I ever see you again?
No... but you'll see Betsy.
[Laughing]
We're doing that again in ten years!
If you don't, I will!